AN INTRODUCTION TO COACHING
Beliefs learned in childhood influence our behaviour
Much of our adult behaviour is influenced by beliefs learned in childhood and, without knowing they are there or understanding them, we continue to use them as an unconscious mental map of the world. Since our behaviour is guided by our beliefs, we cannot make a significant or sustainable change in our behaviour without discovering and evaluating our beliefs, and then making a deliberate choice of which ones to live by.
If these beliefs go unchallenged, we continue to use them and the behaviours that they create unconsciously, often with unnoticed reinforcement, until a significant event draws their attention to them.
These events become the catalysts that motivate us to change behaviours. It may be at this point that you decide to come to a coach - an event happened and you didn't like it, it created a situation that you don't want to live with or it was so painful that you want to make sure it doesn't happen again.top
Unless our deep seated beliefs are addressed, we revert to old, familiar, often inappropriate or ineffective behaviour when the pressure is on. Through a number of studies, Argyris found that, ".individuals appear to be unaware that they were frequently producing consequence which they do not intend, which seemed to contradict their stated values, which led to actions that they would, upon reflection, judge ineffective, and which led to conditions they would consider unjust."
During your coaching sessions, the Perhaps . . . coaches help you to become aware of and challenge your beliefs, and help you to decide the appropriateness of them. Once you are aware, you then decide to make the changes that you want.top
Waking up to our behaviour patterns and the beliefs that produce them, Stephen Covey (1992) suggests can be character building in that, ".the most difficult experiences become the crucibles that forge our character and develop the internal powers, the freedom to handle difficult circumstances in the future and to inspire others to do so as well."
Covey also suggests that the most important insight to be gained is that which he calls an "aha" experience, when we finally see the whole picture in another way. He goes on to promote the notion that the more deeply held the belief, the more powerful the "aha!" experience: "It is as though a light were suddenly turned on inside."top
It is here that the Perhaps . . . coaches will help you - we act as your mirror. We reflect back what we see and hear you say, point out unnoticed behaviours and unconscious beliefs so that the "aha" experience is well within your grasp.
Once awakened, you will want to understand what has happened to make sense of your world and to build a new map. It is the Perhaps . . . coach's role to help you to make sense of what has happened, explore possibilities of new ways of behaving, plan experimental situations to test new behaviours, monitor progress towards your objectives and challenge any regression. Ultimately, we will celebrate the changes that you have made with you.top
Pauleen has spent the last 10 years researching and developing a method of coaching that facilitates and supports permanent changes in behaviour and has used this method to great effect with many people.
Bless those who challenge us to grow, to stretch, to move beyond the Knowable.
. . Bless those who challenge us for they remind us of doors we have closed and doors we have yet to open.
- Navajo saying